A meal is never simply a meal when you have diabetes, especially if you take insulin. Cooking is labour. Every meal, snack, and drink requires you to strike a balance, and your body’s blood sugar is an arduous taskmaster. The screen on your metre will eventually reflect even the smallest “mistakes” back at you.
According to what you learnt at diabetes school, you must calculate your insulin dose after taking stress, physical activity, and excessive fat or protein intake into account. Although inaccurate, the maths is rather simple; yet, performing the act hundreds or thousands of times makes it feel like the proverbial “Chinese water torture.” Little voices in your head may keep telling you whether or not to consume the food on the plate that is about to be served, possibly reminding you of the last time you let your guard down and indulged in a piece of chocolate cake, while you are working out your insulin dosage. Why does eating, which is so fundamental and easy, have to be so difficult?
You make decisions in order to keep your sanity and move on with your life. But the voices continue anyway. Do you have these kinds of thoughts while you’re eating?
- Should I eat this?
- Is this an excessive amount of carbs?
- calories in excess?
- I’m not “supposed” to eat this, but I will nonetheless (damn you, diabetes).
- I might as well wing it since I can’t possible guess the amount of carbohydrates in this.
- I know that this will cause my blood sugar to spike later. The worst diabetic is myself.
It’s possible that you don’t hear those whispers before meals or that you have mastered the art of ignoring them. You may even overeat foods you “shouldn’t” eat because of those voices, which will fill you with shame. Regardless, you are not by yourself. Numerous individuals, including those with and without diabetes, have unhealthful or unbalanced eating relationships. Do any of the following situations make you think of yourself?
- I eat too little during the day and then overindulge when I come home.
- When I’m sad, stressed out, furious, terrified, or lonely, I resort to food.
- I frequently try to cut off an entire food group or a certain food type in an effort to establish control over my eating habits.
- I feel bad and embarrassed about the way I act around food.
- use food to sabotage my health and mock my diabetes.
You are the victim of these abusive food interactions. You obviously do not ignore the abuse. You use a temporary bandage to try to mend your unbalanced connection with food. By declaring war on carbohydrates or pledging to never again touch a piece of chocolate, you may hide it and act as if it doesn’t exist. You make the decision to consume only healthy foods. You create diet plans for yourself that require impossibly high standards. And then, after a few hours, days, or perhaps even a week of implementing your new strategy, you revert to your old habits. And you stumble badly.
Why? The answer is straightforward: you haven’t properly addressed the causes of your initial food misuse, such as why, when, and what. Actually, that is the first and most crucial step. You may develop a relationship with food that makes you feel good about the decisions you make, never deprives you of anything, and gives your body and your life with diabetes the compassion it needs and deserves.
